Aidpage

Hello Friends,
It's been a while since I popped my head out due to my dad's illness being such a shock he is going slowly but surely going...But no one can say when our last moment will be so I pray but he is suffering and bouncing from the nursing home to the hospital at least he is being cared for properly...his wife who has enjoyed the good days decided she would let him sit in the apartment and perish so we had the battle of the divas to resolve the issue of his proper care, she lost...All I wanted was for him to be looked after properly not left sitting alone in an apartment for eight hours waiting for her to show up and do little or nothing...He asked me to get groceries like he was not being fed, and he was bone thin from a 190 frame and going in and out of lucidity and that terrified me and I was so I did she resented that and I think she threw the food away $200.00 worth of groceries that was the last straw...His friends called adult protective services and they removed him... They tried to work with her and she would not cooperate or answer the phone which was exactly what she did to me and I am too ill to jump out of bed running over there uninvited and unannounced that is not my preference or style... I went over once and tried to talk to her and work with her but she was a stubborn piece of work and told me she would do as she pleased which was allowing him to fall and lay unattended,he was not eating properly, and God knows what else, she was picking up his phone and hanging up on me, or taking his phone so I could not reach him. I was worried sick and she resents me and does not know me or my family nor did she ever try to... No one deserves to be mistreated no matter how unkind they were to others an ill person is an ill person and we cold not take care of him because he was too far gone. After many words were shouted back and forth and I straightened her out that I was not going to stand by and watch him be mistreated and she was directly responsible for APS coming in because she would not listen or work with the social workers and nurses to have carers in to look after him and ducked all help. I feel bad and she is not well herself, but neither am I and she has never dialed this phone even now to see if I need anything or just to day she cared. I have been ill since 1972 and critically ill since I met her over ten years ago and I also had to straighten her out and clarify dad was never there for us emotionally, financially or otherwise and he was playing church deacon, posing as a good dad and pretending to be all brand new as he left us destitute and trid to leave us homeless and deprived us of any and everything he could to sustain his freedom and selfish and lavish lifestyle so any joy she got as family to him was good because he failed to love, care for or do anything for his first family's welfare, and never looked back, including never filing for VA benefits for me his only disabled child, just filing out a form was too much to expect so that bit of extra money could have helped me the days I was ill and almost starving on my own.It's sad but he is reaping what he sowed now and I wish him and his wife only God's protection and mercy. I share this so all those doing good will see God looks after us in spite of those who abandon us and their day of reckoning comes and then they are called to account for their actions seen and unseen, no one gets away with abandoning their family and partying away the nights and days then when illness comes they expect all to be forgotten and for those left behind to come sit at their feet and take care of them. I will never forget but I forgave him and went to see he is alright, cared for properly and that is all I can do and I would do that for anyone suffering and alone.

Happy New Year and May God bless and anoint all of us with kindness, peace, and may we ask for and receive forgiveness for all we have done to others, make amends before it is too late, and may his blood cover us all with grace, gratitude, mercy and strength of spirit...Love sweetmeat58

My dad was just diagnoised with Alzheimer's and it is a huge mess with all involved feeling over whelmed by the level of care he needs. I am trying to quickly educate myself on what is happening to himas a person,and patient as I watch his life fall apart and the closest people to him abandon him emotionally and as caregiver's. I am in bed most of the day terminally ill myself and trying to advocate better care for him through a disagreeable wife, my stepmudder, who would rather not even hear my name mentioned as daddy's little girl even at 53. She is confusing her jeslousy for me with my concern for his proper care. She is unwell herself but considers all my attempts to help threatening. Any thoughts on similar situations andwhere to turn next will be greatly appreciated. He is going from lucid to not lucid regualrly and does not even know my phone number anymore, he calls and says who is this? He says he feels afraid and wants to move. Yikes! We smoke and he has heart issues so he cannot stay with us. I am calling and researching as fast as possible to find a good place in Royal Oak Michigan for him. He is a retired Navy vet who was honorably discharged but these homes want thousands of dollars for housing it is really ridiculous and insulting to men who served our country that he cannot just call and be placed. the pressure is great and the whole mess saddens me. All these places have numbers to call and they just send you somewhere else. All the thousands of dollars sent out to pretend to serve the public should be ashamed of themselves. They sit and get paid and do little or nothing when we call for help.

All I wrote just got erased... My thoughts were profound and deep, but they are gone now...Have a blessed day.

 in response to Starshine...   Hello Sis:

You sure know how to cheer a gal up...no matter when I come back you have a spark to warm my heart...you know in the olden days we douched with it... and always secret gal to gal tip for youngsters if you get a bad piece of meat,spoiled or suspect after a one night stand you can always "clean the kitty", like momma used to say by and purify and or tighten in advance of a date if desired, if those dating days are still active for you...As I watch the news i cannot believe guys are still beating up other guys for being gay... it is ridiculous because doctors are the real culprit for many mistakes are made deciding which sex they define the children at birth and this issue has never been discussed openly...And the n word is still alive and well just pure evil using the words as weapons Even if we all woke up the same color hateful types would find a way to seperate us by evil defining words it is a shame as a wordsmith I try encourage us all to use the wealth of the words good words, loing words, goodness words, but the bottomfeeders will always stir up filth to hurt the weak that iswhy I fight on een ill toshare love and hope amoung us...Be good and Iam still thinking of moving out of Detroitbecause it has become a garbage dump devoid of care, public services or human compassion and it is all black folks destroying the weak, elderly and sick as the people we voted in to protect us rob us of social security, freedoms and civility. This is a place that was so beautiful and we did not even lock our doors, believe it or not? It is a crime what it has been allowed to deteriorate into,body parts of women on front lawns , police that will not come when you call, and no one care a damn if we live or die which used to be a city and they now will not even pick up the sick and dying by ambulance they claim all of the trucks are broken...I am miserable but cannot leave my sister and she will not move and I promised my mom I would look after her...damn that is one reason I promise no one anything anymore, and just try to stay alive. It is a shame. tears falling down...

Hello Friends:

Happy Easter and I hope you feel and hear my prayers for you and family to be at peace, happy with who you love, treat all with consideration and respect, give more than you ask for and underpromise and overdeliver to make your life successful, rewarding and filled with anticipation of what's next.

I am a bit disturbed today my dad has Alzheimers and does not live with me, he has a second wife my stepmother, her two daughters, grandson's and a church group who all think he is the greatest. As my dad from 1958 until 2006 he lived a life of selfishness, arrogance, childhood to adult broken promises to even come by , call or show up for holiday dinners or any other dinner where people sit, talk and get to know each other and show concern, care, andsupport each others dreams, goals and life. We got at absent dad, whoe life was spent with strangers, co-workers and the other women , most of my momo's friends and neighbors, humiliating my mom in her public circles and even dated some of my friends , friends. We got to love a name of our father, all of his first family members, three kids and a wife he wiped his ego and feet on considering himself too good to waste time with our trivial lives or sucesses, controlling but never home, and violent a few times and verbally abusive to mom nonstop and never supported her dreams or ever helped her increase her education as promised or even act like supporting us was an honor only a punishment in his eyes, cutting alimony/child support off the day we all turned eighteen and never dropped another dime on uus for even a stick of gum or participating as a father at all not that we asked or needed his money. Now at 77, he has put on a new attitude re-writing history as a goood man and father, and community leader, joined a church, became deacon, and basically put on an act to be religious to get insurance business, but I told him do not play with God you may regret it oneday. Now his second wife thinks he lived a full life as a good father to the first family, and we just do not care about our poor sick dad who sacrificed his adult life raising us, not and we should be coming around to surround, support and caregive in his time of need and poor degrading health. He never supported me as a terminally ill person, even when I was not expected to make it out of the hospital he came once, glared at me,sucked his teeth, did not understand what was wrong with me, accused me of faking as I was dying to get more money in the divorce settlement, told me if I was dying why be in the hospital wasting his money, just come home and die. All this ignorance stung, numbed me, got buried as I waited for him to be touched by God and become a person again. Well he did finally emerge as a caring person, tried to be a father to me who was always his favorite, yes"daddy's little girl" who got the little praise he ever gave but I still was stood numerous times , sitting in tears, gutted he promised and did nort keep it, time after time. Now in his late seventies he wants company , adoration of loving children and the second family is reaping all the benefits of his rebirth as a father, grandfather, friend, and ask why we are not around and talk shit about us not nowing the truth. The stepmom tried to throw it uo in my face and I had to get her straight, I told her I'm not the one and you have got it all wrong about why we do not come and two of his children are too hurt to even care anymore but now he is very ill, losing lucidity, and they are complaining about our absence,as the burden of caring for him grows they just gripe and resentment is growing as ill memebers of her family try to care for him. I said that is no way to handle it, by asking from people untrained, uncaring but family in name, but feeling forced to look after him, as a result they are not caring for him properly, leaving him alone without I.D. or a working cell phone only a house phone I was over and looked for for his cell phone an hour and never found it then when the stepmomn came home she marched over with it after I insisted I was off to buy a new cell phone if she did not show me his, she got hot said it was under the bed where I had already looked, I think she had it in her pocket and tried to start an argument and I said I have called for a week without answer and I have the right to be upset, and get reasonable answers finally she also got the house phone that was covered by a pile of clothes which does work during the day, but he had no idead where it was. I was told basically since I do not come around , do not come now starting any mess, I said showing concern and asking for answers to things I see that are toatally unacceptable is not starting mess, when I come raising hell, and starting mess you will know it the police will be here then I got a bit of snapping and growling from my dear stepmom, who I am not on the best terms with just, civil for the sake of speaking. I told her my dad had phoned me asked me to arrange for groceries to be delivered, which I paid for, which pissed her off, why? like he is not getting enough to eat, and he has been put in a seperate bedroom, for the last six weeks and feels a distance from his wife, and suspects she may be cheating, possibly his guilt and imagination since he did cheat regularly on all his wives for years and now cannot drive or get out and she is out working and going to church events without him due to his fear of falling after hip surgery which has weakened his legs, like mine have been for the last several years. Since 1972 he has never asked about my health, welfare with any real care or sincerity,nor asked if I needed money,does it hurt all the time, how do I get to the hosptal when I fall and collapse or anything until I returned in 2006, when he was into God, teaching sunday school, and pretending to be reformed, but God changed him in how did he think. I asked how did he think I made it without a father all these years, and made it threw nights of screaming in pain with no relief in sight and not slit my throat just for thepain to stop, laying with two husbands who promised not to leave, love me and see I died in peace who both betrayed their promise to God as their marriage vows, and just left me as he did, broke promises they made as he did and I deepdown expected only that from men and especially anyone who claimed to love me as he did, so I was waiting to be disappointed thanks to his continual disrespect and letdowns and waiting around until he decied to try to start being even cordial and have conversations asking how I was, who I was and what I was doing with my life. I am worried he reached out for help, and I tried and my brother and older sister could care less on any level but I would help anyone elderly person family or not, as I have for a lifetime not just to impress others or prove something I will always help anyone asking for it but feel I am being put off by an overbearing, sensitive overwhelmed stepmom, who knows she is not being a good caregiver, but is to stubborn to let me help, and I told her I am ytoo ill to come and be a caregiver, I put in my time from childhood I hae taen care of the elderly and ill family, friends and anyone I could because that is who I am. She works and to her credit has seen him through two surgeries and the onset of the big "A". I offered to get help in for her for dishes and chore help but, she adamantly refused with a big attitude. I feel afraid for him and am puzzled what to do next to help him? He said I may have to move? I asked why he does'nt feel loved anymore? I do not know if it is paranoia from his old cheeating ghosts or a real cry for help?

Any suggestions from experiences in your life or current situationsimilar to this/

Be well, lie now and love the one who loves you while there is still time and while it still matters to them.

mped
Sweetmeat58

Hello Sister Starshine...
I thought you would be interested in what s on my mind today...
Have I shared with you that apple cider vinegar in warm water is good for achy legs and leaves a brilliant shine on skin, also in the oldest drug store you can find green alcohol and banana peels in a jar act as a soother for achy legs... I use both it is old Gullah ( my heritage Indian Black and French, dumped outside of Charleston South Carolina in Mt. Pleasant South Carolina) remedies passed down from my ancestors. Remember my momma's book , published in 2000 ?,"When We Were Young", it is the story of her growing in the 1930's... Touching , heartwarming vinettes of people living through an era of post slavery, segregation, and hate with dignity, self resolve to rise above being labeled as second class citizens, and humility and wonder through the eyes of children and reflective wisdom in looking back and seeing many similar issues of race division, ethnic exclusion, economic subjugation through tax tricks, elimination of all the safety nets( food programs to help working people down on our luck, medical low cost help, dental help, the earned income tax which was pennies back to working people which was quickly stomped on for our own good,and are told by the newly elected Lansing and company, who are running off the movie folks who were employing thousands of folks and bringing life and hope to Detroit specifically, it's like Lansing was jealous and did not want glory happening here. It seems like it was decided if the film industy was not about mostly rich folks we did not deserve any prosperity. The tax breaks were their incentive and now they will go else where it's like they are trying to kill off, or run off, or starve out all the good people in Detroit, everything good is being destroyed or removed deliberately. Where is all that money we got last year to fix up Detroit? What specifically was it spent on? Most of, not all of the city looks like a dump site! Glenn Beck is an ass and he is wrong, many people lie in beautiful well kept homes, like my sister and I and our neighbors. all the televised reports show the destroyed parts of the city, not the people hanging on in the home the bought and have taken care of for years. People like Glenn Beck deliberately mischaracterize the city for destructive purposes to raise hid television ratings. He would not be welcomed into a nice home as a guest here like the Palmer Woods historic homes which are beyond beautiful. There are homes that host musical events,Music In Homes" a series that offers events in the historic mansions has gone on for years and no one ever covers that nationally, do they? So as I say do not believe the hype! There are wonderful, respectful creative people who live here and thrive in spite of the destroyed part of the city. Believe that because it is the truth! Alot of people are pissed and insulted and feel let down for voting in the present powers in Lansing, who now seem to be attacking the foundation of the working middle class, and seem determined to raid all the resources set aside for our survival. What are we to live on after all the retired, elderly, disabled have the little bit of money they get to live on taken away to balance the budget on the backs of the least able to survive? What about all that set aside money for roads to nowhere , hidden dollars for road repair that never happens and the money disappears? Let's count that up and use that the roads look like hell!We desperately need a subway system through all the cities from Detroit to Lansing, Sixty percent of the people in Detroit do not drive so why are there three little subway cars downtown that are useless in terms of getting people where they need to go? Whose idea was that? We need a subway light rail project to start and be completed so people can travel, work, and shop through all the cities in Wayne, and Oakland and all the counties in Michigan. If they love Detroit and Michigan like they claim to why won't anyone build a subway system so we can travel freely without cars? The other back stab from our elected officials is we are being told we as intelligent, women who trusted him and voted him in office we are too ignorant to decide if we need an abortion after being violently raped, and we do not have the brains to decide not to bring a child into this terrible world if we see fit, who do these people think they are, our new Gods? Their are not enough support systems for single mothers or struggling foster children released into the world at age eighteen so they become homeless problems roaming the street, but government wants all children to be born regardless of if it is good for the mother or not, why should she have to ask permission from a rich, white government official to make decision about her body? I thought slavery and endentured servitude was outlawed? whether their is any support system to help the disadvantaged mother forced to have a child she cannot afford to raise, as they destroy the programs that help a woman in their position and demand a child come. Who is going to take care of the child financially as they cut out every program designed to help, so govenment officials can have a yacht, second home, fancy cars they do not drive while we try to just buy a weeks worth of groceries? Whose money will take care of the child, as the safety net programs are cut to balance a budget that never gives any legitimate money back to the working class? They let the wall street thieves go who stripped money from working class in Ponzie schemes, their friends , who somehow get released and still have the stolen money to live on as the victims become the new poor, unwillingly, never given back the money or real justice, just as the rapist and murderers get released or get six years for attacking, raping, beating, stabbing, running her down in the street and disfiguring a women, crack addicts get twenty years and crimes of violence on women get slaps on the back of their hand and they are let loose back into our communities not their rich guarded, gated, patrolled neighborhoods, thanks so much! Apparently our sons and daughter do not deserve to grow up unmolested by perverts no one supervises on an ongoing basis ) programs are cut that are now titled poor people programs burdening the system and keeping the budget unbalanced still lingering among us. Her book was written in the era just as Hitler decided he was going to take over the world. I am working on the accompany book "The Maxwell Family CookBook...Southern Delicacies straight from the mind, heart, soul and kitchen of Carrie Beatrice Jones Maxwell. It is the recipes for each menu which is at the end of each story in the book. It is written and I just have to edit, find funding and publish it if God gives me the resources and the time. Our leaders are middle aged retirees trying to be someone they are not who should be ashamed of themselves because they are our age, old, ill and know we retired working class people cannot live on what they give us now but they insist on stealing our hard earned money back from our homes, dinner tables, to put on theirs to make their lives comfortable, and their rich friends, they live on our tax money like they worked for it and did not, WE DID.... I worked three jobs at a time before I became too ill to work anymore... I was denied the first time I applied after working for Social Security, I had to hire a lawyer and sue Social Security, that took another year in which I literally starved to death, went to churches for food, sought out lunch programs, took public transportation ill in search of food, creditors called and threatened me, I lived under a nut who begin stalking me for whatever reason, the police did not believe me, they came once, and of course the guy said he was not doing anything and they believed him behind his white skin and army fatigue clothes! I fortunately was able to move to Berkeley with an old friend and probably saved my life, the police did not give a damn and never lifted a finger to protect me a tax paying citizen, business owner at the time, on the Walnut Creek Chamber of Commerce, all for what? a good citizen, helping children learn how to write, publish their own book, volunteering to help those less fortunate in local Bay area San Francisco and Contra Costa county churches, schools, on the street for seven straight years previous, tithing at church who also acted like they did not even know my name when I asked for help in housing and for food, that broke my spirit and heart, I technically became homeless as the organizations I believed in went on tricking people in to help them , never intending to return the favor, sad, fascist, and just wrong, the new America, organizational liars, theives, takers snatching from those ill and elderly, disabled or too weak to fight back, but God is watching us all which is my only relief at night as I recall the lies I believed and pain and know many others will; be confronted with the same shocking realization as they lose all they have and discover the safety nets the Republicans are removing are not for poor people, they were there for the working people in distress and they do not care, so they are saying just die, we have ours, stolen from your working class pockets and made ours under laws designed to legitimize the rich stealing from working people making them the poor, which is a crime to be poor, then they approach and start fining you, locking up at the drop of a hat, stopping you for no reason, taking your home you cannot pay for because all your money has been slowly stolen through trickery, tax tricks, lies and elimination of jobs, resources, so how do they expect us to survive? They do not is the answer... No banks are giving loans that is a bold face lie, no small businesses are being helped and city after city will turn into Detroit, filled with good people trapped in homes they cannot sell nor move out of. We are kind, hard working people who have been tricked, cheated, robbed over taxed by the government, elected leaders, who are living off our blood and strife as the children just watch the lies, dishonesty, empty plates on the dinner table, police waiting for one wrong move so they can arrest you. Last night a car burgular who had victimized cars for weeks was caught and Black American citizen arrested by neighbors, they called over twenty times for assistance, no police responded, so they beat the shit out of him and let him go, the police came twenty hour later to help? Wake up America this is our new one world reality of the hell with working class communities, we are nothing to government, our children are being arrested for walking down the street, we do not matter anymore, the powers called government are trying to turn us into animals, and are treating us in an inhumane manner to see how far they can go dehumanizing us city by city kind person by kind person... ambulances do not respond anymore unless it is there family , police come if and when they feel like it, unless it is their family and all the trillions of dollars of monies that flood into the cities, disappear, and they yell we are broke, how? where does all the money go? We never see it! The city looks like shit! And I have a news flash for the Glenn Beck and Tea party believers yours will sooner than you think! WOMEN ARE BEING CUT UP AND THROWN ON PEOPLE'S FRONT LAWNS AND NO ONE CARES! IT IS ALL SCARY... I had volunteered at Glide Methodist church, In San Francisco Ca, 1994-1997 and worked in the Celebration office for countless hours and was treated like a stranger when I asked for help, you are who they asked as all the money I donated sat stacked up in back? Where is the justice in America we talk about wanting all the time? Strangely the infidelity of my husband right in my face and the fight to get my tax dollar put away for me for years to be there when I needed it helped end my marriage. The reality is most people did not vote here in Michigan but those who did have to realize we elected them and they seem to be imprisoning us with unjust laws that help only rich, greedy people who have more money than they know what to do with how is this fairness, after believing their lies to help us we now are having all the resources we need to survive taken as they smile and explain it is for our own good. This year for retired we got no cost of living for retired folks, taxing of pensions money, the so called retirement money put away from our tax money to live on after retiring, when you are too old or too ill to work anymore and that is all you get... It is not enough to live on and they want to tax it! It is like a giant plantation they are creating and city by city they are stripping us of all humanity, dignity, as the city who still has not become victim to it, get ready or fight for the equality to be restored for the people by the people, yes all of us not just the group yelling the loudest proclaiming they are the decent group and the rest of us are here to be categorized, profiled, patrolled like criminals when we go out to take a walk, shop go out for a nice evening of dining and relaxation, minimized, economically entrapped with overblown credit card rates, low credit ratings, no jobs, a home we cannot sell, if you are lucky enough to be able to pay the taxes they say you owe, uh yeah! and our retirement and life in the well cared for neighborhoods yes even in Detroit people still take great care of their homes, lawns, family as we try to protect ourselves from being preyed upon by the fake police, police who do not give a damn anymore and do not come when you call, two older women caught a man breaking into their car, beat his ass, called, no police car responded after repeated help us now calls! so they walked him to the police station, on the way they saw a patrol car on the way that refused to stop and help, so much for peace officers, huh? or take the guy in or call another car to assist these two elderly women struggling with a criminal caught in the act, so they took him to the police station themselves. We outrun sexual predators who drag our daughters, friends, women trying to get jobs in all these horrific old, abandoned homes, that could have been refurbished for homeless folks but have been left to rot and bring down the value of all the homes around them, trillions of dollars flooded in and was supposed used to clean up last summer, put that money has also disappeared and nothing has been done...The five feet tall grassy areas all over the city where many women have been dragged into and raped if there was an ounce of real business collaboration and action oriented minds who wanted the problem solved a program could have used some of the money before it disappeared and hired high school kids under the we love Detroit people programs, they could be mowing for money if the city hall leaders who many of do not have to see the filth and disrepair because they do not live in Detroit, do not have to see it, be bothered by the garbage dumped by outsiders, the rat infestation and car parts that call it home in all that tall grass. If there was a real desire to restore Detroit to the way it was when I grew up a clean, productive, well kept city, with city leaders and workers who lived here, cared because they had to drive the streets of Detroit, and if any current city hall officials had any imagination and really wanted kids working instead of becoming criminals, hanging at gas stations mugging people trying to pump gas, commiting crimes against the elderly and working middle class just trying to make it home at night, home invasion thugs raping and terrorizing elderly, retired women living alone criminals who seem to run a business terrorizing homeowners trying to maintain their property and cannot be stopped or caught and if there was really justice, compassion and concern for all the citizens instead of just for the powerful and rich thugs with suits, registered guns and arrogant I have mine and "I am legally taking yours smiles", living in their gated, patrolled compounds, looking down their noses at the working class struggling to survive. So who is maintaining the civility in the world, and planning a future where we all will be able to live a peaceful and economically fruitful life?

I think it is all of us, we the people, united not divided!

 in response to PittsburghMomma...   What a beautiful addition to your family and the world, good work, May God's mercy and love surround your family always and may the blood of Christ cleanse your life and anoint all your hopes and dreams for the future...

How is everyone...Earth to friends?

Hi from sweetmeat58:)
A prayer for friends and family struggling for hope, strength,to make it through the day... Oh merciful father, thank you for waking me up to see this beautiful day, merciful father take my hand, I am inferior and you are superior, show me how I may serve you better and realize my destiny, bless my family and plans for the future, and help me create a blessed bounty from the effort I put in day after day...thank someone in my life who loves me, supports me, Oh Lord shower someone in my life who needs hope and love them, walk with them through this strife, if possible take a meal, soup to someone who will not eat if you do not feed them, chat a bit and remind them God still cares, if not able feed your family, pray for them and all your family and friends everyday at meal time as I do... Our Father...Thank you for the food we are about to receive, that it may nourish our bodies from time to time...Amen

Hope you got a moment of peace from this, I do daily...Peace family

I pray everyone write a mission statement and reaffirm what they believe in and put it on paper who are you, what are you trying to accomplish in life, new ways to make money, go back to school, tons of grant money is out there to enhance your education at any age, go for the grant money grants.gov, put ten a ten point mission statement for personal, business, and dream goals and review it every thirty days.. note your accomplishments and revise it if you need to make it reachable, research, network, and tell others your plans to get residual peolple who may run into someone who they can give your e-mail to, refresh your resume, get new photos of yourself, see what you look like, change your hair style, get a few new clothes and change your style, older beauties, dress your age, we are beautiful at any age but dressing like a teen when you are fabulous fifty is not necessary, own your wisdom and the fact you were intelligent enough to make it to fifty and still be fine as I am proud at age fifty two, younger men love me because my spirit is young and most men I meet my age are too stuffy, or want to be somebody's daddy and want a young woman to boss around and I want a companion who wants to live life with an adult, young spirited, vibrant, fabulous fifty, diva. My search continues but it is hard when you have been loved greatly once, which I have, so I have had the most wonderful man in the world, a gentleman, whose smile lit up the sky when he smiled, with talent, intellect, strength of character, a man in uniform, respectful, loyal, good conversationalist, funny, and now an angel from prostate cancer...So I still hope for love but if it never graces my life again I have my memories...Keep the love for life alive, be a good friend, support those struggling with encouragement, and help an ill or elderly person in your family at least once a month, even if it is just a call or e-mail hello, we all are one family and surviving life takes all our energy combined... Thank you to all the responses on my thoughtss, poetic work and love I try to share in between surviving my terminal disease on my heels breathing down my neck which creates intractable pain every day, but I wake up, pray, have a good cup of French Roast coffee with cream and sugar ro keep sweetmeat sweet, start my morning writing, editing and thank God for one more day...Peace & Hugs Family

 in response to Starshine...   Thank you for your thoughts...It really feels good just to say it, sit and make yourself a card or make one and drop it to a neighbor on the block ill or shut in.. or e-mail a free card to someone who you have not spoken to in a while it is a good way to reconnect it is not just for lovers, really, friend to friend and sister to sister, matters...Remember kindergaten passing candy hearts around? We need to generate more love between each other...You are an angel and do it often God Bless you for every stroke you share to generate hope...sweetmeat

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who still believes in love, hope, peace and miracles...I am not in an intimate relationship this year, but I receive and give gifts and greetings anyway... My sister always gives me a blessing, card, and handmade or from the heart gift, or a token of love and I give her something from my heart and imagination...I used to race with my mom before she passed to see who could say I love you, happy valentine's day first, God love her...I still send her greeting to heaven, first thing in morning...Many women I know only keep tally of what they get and sulk and moan the whole rest of the day if the gifts, and greetings did not meet their expectations... I always told them you are missing the plot... and think of those who have no one to love them? So passing that kind of energy to me is a loss of passing the energy of love all around...We all need it and I find most men only participate in Valentines day to get laid, or not get a knot on their head for being inconsiderate, while the other girlfriends clean up and you sit with a neon sign "I have a man that cannot even remember just to make me happy on a national day of making women happy"...Many men consider it a Hallmark created day which maybe it is...If it is? What is wrong with a national day of sentiments of love? We celebrate dead presidents, wars, the slaughter of Indians on Columbus day, so why not carve out a day of love and make your energy known in the universe by telling someone that needs a little love, Happy Valentine's day...I hope I brought a new way of thinking to just one soul and a heartfelt passage of my love to you on this day of chocolate, Cognac, flowers, candy hearts, Victoria Secrets outfits, handmade hearts, you do not even have to spend money , just open your mind and your heart and let your love flow...Peace and love to all my family and friends here and around the world...Luv Sweetmeat:)

Please hear me loud and clear COLONIAL PENN LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY IN PITTSBURGH, PA, 399 Market street, cheated my elderly father and I out of over one thousand dollars from my retirement money. I opened two policies paid for over three years and they refused to put the policy in force at the anniversary date by mismanaging the paymentsI sent in for two policies, by not supervising employees too stupid to get our date of birth and age correct. They got the premium amount due incorrect, and thought I was paid up a year in advance. I called, wrote repeatedly after finding the mistake in the first thirty days, in the get all your money back period. I said if you cannot even get the date of birth and our ages right how can I trust you to manage or policies? I was assured they would get everything straightened out, they lied. The employee took my correct payment split it up and made it fit the incorrect amount due and did that for months. I called, told them their employees were giving me a years worth of their money. My good deed was punished by them lying on me saying I shorted them, and I kept telling them I kept sending the correct amount and their employees split it up and that was not my fault, finally they corrected their mistake. Then after months of me complaining and asking them to be professional, keep proper records, make notations saying I had nothing to do with the errors, and they promised they did. Out of spite when the two year anniversary date came for the policies to go into full force, out of the blue with no change in anything, every policy premium paid in full every month they requested reinstatement , which turned the clock back to day one stopping them from having to pay us for full payment of 25,000 coverage for myself and 10,000 coverage of the policy payoff for my father. They are criminals and they received all my payments did not record each payment received, falisified my confidential files, made no notation of their mistakes and then lied and said I did not pay every month, and then said oh you did pay put you shorted us, using the mistakes I found their own employees made, which saved them embarrassment and money and tried to use their mistakes as a weapon, blaming me for the shortage which came from their inability to transfer the correct date of birth and age from the original application onto the final policy paperwork. I called and called telling them they were sending the wrong premiium amount due, and kept sending the correct amount due. Their employees would get it, chop it up to reflect the incorrect premium amount due and did who knows what with the rest. I was hung up on, told ai could not speak with nor leave a message for the vice president. The operators were rude, incompetent and kept saying they would correct the errors and never did. After payment were not even being recorded as received I was fed up and I asked for my money back under their money back gaurantee. They were pissy, sent a check short, no letter explaining, after I worte the attorney general's office and they gave me only a portion back thinking I did not have proof of all the payments. They created a payment history with payments removed deliberatlely, stating months I did not pay, which was a lie. Even after I submitted copies of the missing money orders for every sinlge month they refused to give my money back. They were so stupid they wrote me thinking I had paid a year in advance , and I was professional and honest enough and notified them their employees made a mistake, they thanked me, then tried to accuse me of shorting them on payments based on their employees mistakes. I proved they were lying by sending letters I sent telling them the premium amount due was wrong, and I just keep paying the correct amount and they took the payments out of our files and said I did not pay. I told them I was not stupid and had every single money order receipt. I even went to the Michigan Citizen Assistance office in my state for help and the governor's office sided with them. I am devestated and have been robbed and do not want it to happen to you. So when you see that titilating family oriented commercial saying, "oh you must be so upset since your mother died and need help , go to Colonial Penn they are so honest, helpful, blah, blah, blah. Do not be sucked in,they robbed me. I worked three job for over thirty years and live on a fixed income and they did not care, they kept money that did not belong to them. They think we are old, stupid and corporate thieves stick together. Even the Attorney General of Pittsburgh, Elder Protection Division would not make them give all my money back. There is no justice for elderly, working people anymore. Even when you prove your case you cannot get justice and my only contentment is that God is watching and when they are in need and reach out for God, they will be paid back in full, karma is a powerful repayment and I have given it to God. Do not give Colonial Penn LIfe Insurance a dime of your money. Thjey are callous, liars, and thieves of the common working people, and think it is a joke. They invalidated my contract by mismanaging it and never intended to pay off in full, They lied and created a problem to stop me from legitamately getting pennies to bury myself and my father, sick, sad, shameful theives. Their time will come when they are sick, needy, and God will even the score for me. DO NOT TRUST OR DO BUSINESS WITH COLONIAL PENN LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY, 399 MARKET STREET, PITTSBURGH, PA. THEY CHEATED ME, TOOK ALL MY MONEY, DID NOT RECORD PAYMENTS RECEIVED THEN TRIED TO ACCUSE ME OF WRONGDOING AFTER I TOLD THEM THEIR IGNORANT EMPLOYEES COULD NOT TRANSFER INFORMATION FROM ONE PIECE OF PAPER TO ANOTHER CORRECTLY. THEY THANKED ME FOR SAVING THEM A YEARS WORTH OF PREMIUM PAYMENTS BY LYING ON ME AND KEEPING MONEY I NEED TO BUY GROCRIES, PICK UP MEDICATION. THIS IS HOW THEY MAKE A LIVING, DO NOT LET THEM TAKE YOUR MONEY!!! God Bless Family.

I feel so blessed to have so many good souls who have become family here as we struggle to survive the ups and downs of life. I know many people need money and come here for that out I hope you know the value of what we are sharing is worth more than money can buy. I feel each one of you in my heart as family and friends forever. We have enriched each others lives and money comes and money goes but family is forever. Thank you all for the support after my hospital trauma. I will never forget your kindness. Peace.

 in response to sweetmeat58...   Thank you kindly and I feel the same our hands are clasped together tight and one day we will all do better financially and in the mean time we need to hold each other together spiritually. Your sweetness and goodness is magnificant and felt deep inside my heart and soul. I m deeply moved by making so many good friends in one of my darkest times also and you are some of the light shining lighting my path back to life anew thank you from the bottom of my heart. Peace be with you, sweetmeat:):)

 in response to Booknut48...   B:
God bless you and I feel your heart healing and seeing the reflection of your fellow man, woman family member you could have helped and did not has passed but the future is there and I pray for you to get messages of mercy, self healing and forgiveness for youeself, forgive yourself and serve someone in need, children in the Cancer wards need reading to, you can vounteer to read to them or do like I did and set up your own reading circut to read to patients bedside, as a poet I read my poetry and my mom's biography of growing up in the south in the thirty's "When We Were Young by Carrie B.J. Maxwell, some copies are available for resale on the internet. I am out of copies right now and trying to get funding to reprint. on my book "Butterscotch Filled Orange Slices", by Leslie Maxwell Cook on hope, love, joy and restoring the spirit within. You may even consider writing your own autobiography and get it published. Write your life story it will help you heal and release the unforgiveness now, retelling the bad over. Do not hold grudges because it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You will be alright, and you will look back one day and know you are a survivor who learned to give, love, encourage others and share your spirit and soul to help others struggling to make a strong spirit amd survive life in one piece. That all any of us are doing living with dignity and helping other do the same is our real job, and all the man made shit is what distracts us and messes up our heads and lives. Write apology letters to all those you abandoned in their time of need and hurt, and give it to those you can and write apology letters to yourself read them aloud in the tub , candle light then give yourself permission to heal. Say ten positive affirmations after you read your apology letters to your self. Write everything evil, selfish, mean, you did and read it aloud, tape it if possible and listen to it then , forgive yourself and tear up or burn the letters and bury them in your back yard in a compost of evil deeds so you never forget. pour rock salt over the area and burn sage. If you have no backyard just burn the sage after you read the letter and put the rock salt and sage in your hot tub as you read. Ask God to forgive you and pledge to serve and act as a child of God in his name and find your calling and live a good life doing and living as Christ meant for us to live, loving each other, filled with kindness and answering a call for someone in need. You will feel better after the soul cleansing. Lay down after and rest for at least an hour just praying quietly to youself saying Jesus Christ take my hand I am inferior and you are superior, and you will be restored good man. Peace be with you.

Momentum Love

Caring takes knowing and knowing takes time,
True love does not drop from the clouds in the sky,

It grows slowly on well tended vines of mutual love,

Water from tears of understanding,
Fertilizer from compost of misunderstanding,
Eventually yeilds a balanced love that is not demanding,
So we chrish at this point the miracle within which we are standing,

A momentum,
A feeling,
A rocking,
A healing,
Of momentum love.

Copyright (c) by Leslie Maxwell Cook, Poet For Peace Since 1997.
Selection from Maxwell Cook Collection Volume II/
"A Poetic Introduction To Universal beauty From All The Colors Of The Rainbow"

 in response to susie's son...   Bless your heart and hang in there, pray with us all and for us all as we pray for each other. We all must be good soldiers, and serve someone if you are not being served as long as you can and blessing will come to you, soon. I place this in prayer with my anointing on it for you. Peace be with you.

Bless you for raising your son to be a man, teach him impulse control, to say thank you and please, to always think before he speaks and never to forget he is a person of color in America. Being a well dressed, well educated, well mannered gentleman with manners, social conversation skills and writing skills, well read, knowing to send a thank you card in a week when someone does something kind, as a friend or in business are the jewels of civility that will tip the scale for someone to think fondly of him if there is a choice between him and someone else, Always be respectful, agree to disagree and never be violent unless defending his woman, home or life. He should look for scholarships for college now and there are tons and the money is there for the taking. I'll put you both in my prayer circle and ask Jesus Christ take my hand in hard times and I'll be there to take the other one. Read my notes/and poetic works at sweetmeat58/Facebook and join my Friends of the Poet for Peace page. We are all a family in this together and for God's sake teach him to vote the republicans just took over Michigan again because so many folks thought someone else would vote and we lost our footing for the pennies that go to young men like your son. Walk in faith, pray every day and give the tough stuff to God and carry only the day's load and look at your future in your son's face, and smile. Peace.

 in response to justinekase...   I wish you the very best new year and thank you for your thoughts and prayers. You know we all must wait on the Lord to show our faith and walk in blind faith doing not expecting, serving not waiting to be served and within these acts we find our blessings. I know in times of strife it is hard to believe but as a woman who has beat death five times, believe! I speak from wisdom and experience from my heart and soul not just from my lips talking for the sake of talking. In my healthier days I gave money to all who I could and I wish a savior for all who need a hand but I say go out and try to talk with people if you are well enough to volunteer, and you may run into your lifeboat and make a friend. I am just about totally bed ridden but i still keep fighting and try to walk a bit while I still can. Be hopeful, pray and go out and help someone in need next door, at church, at the senior home, you may come home happier and more content. I will put you in my prayer circle and just say Jesus take my hand, and walk with me...I am inferior and you are superior, and ask for forgiveness for all your sins known and unknown and keep your soul clean and miracles will and do happen, I am living proof! Do not forget to smile, give thanks for those who love you and all you have to be grateful for, and say thank you to those you live with for the little things they do, make a card and express their worth to you, this strengthens the spirit and creates good energy which attracts more good energy. Peace.